Mio cuggino Jack

Alcuni stralci dalla Bibbia di Jack Bauer.

• The only reason Jack Bauer didn’t stop 9/11 was that Edgar didn’t open up a port

• Jack Bauer is never more than 15 minutes away from major terrorist activity.

• Jack Bauer does not shave. Once his beard grows long enough, he uses his hacksawing skills to cut one hair. The rest fall out by themselves.

• When Jack Bauer was a child, he made his mother finish his vegetables.

• If everyone on “24” followed Jack Bauer’s instructions, it would be called “12”.

• Jack Bauer doesn’t read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

• Jack Bauer killed Kenny.

• Jack Bauer once lost his TV remote, but managed to regain control by calmly telling the television what to do.

• Jack Bauer can get McDonald’s breakfast after 10:30.

• It would only take 1 bullet for Jack Bauer to kill 50 Cent.

• Jack Bauer can slam rotating doors.

• Jack Bauer was able to find me a XBOX 360.

• Jack Bauer played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.

• If Jack Bauer had been on Oceanic 815 there would no Lost.

• The real reason women love Jack Bauer: He can find the Clitoris. Always.

• Nobody puts Jack Bauer in the corner.

• Jack Bauer does not need to upload songs to his iPod, they upload themselves.

• Superman wears Jack Bauer pajamas.

• When Kim Bauer lost her virginity, Jack Bauer found it and put it back.

• Jack Bauer played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.

• When Google can’t find something, it asks Jack Bauer for help.

• When someone says “Hijack!” they are literally saying hi to Jack Bauer.

• Jack Bauer does not fire bullets. Instead, they fire themselves away from Jack in pure fear of him.

• When Jack Bauer microwaves a burrito, it isn’t cold in the middle.

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11 Commenti

  1. Non so se sta mania che comincia a imperversare sia un bene o un male…Quelle su Chuck Norris mi avevano fatto scassare, di queste non conosco il personaggio ma mi sembrano carine, se non si finisce per copiarsi a vicenda (come gia’ sta succedendo) potrebbe diventare una cosa carina.
    Il ogni caso caro il mio Neri, per essere quello che ha decifrato il Zekretizzimo PTF Tei Zervizi Zekreti sei OBS come lammerda. Ho leggere ste battute a mio nonno e mi ha candidaemnte confessato che si facevano le stesse battute a durante il 15-18 solo con Armando Diaz invece di Bauer…

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