Goodbye cruel world

È la fine. Il momento più temuto da chi per anni ha campato di satira è inesorabilmente giunto. Il clan dei comici, come successe anni fa tra i lavavetri, con gli albanesi che ebbero la meglio sui polacchi, sta per essere rimpiazzato da un temibile concorrente: l’economista. Bando alle speranze, la resistenza è inutile: l’invasione è ormai silenziosamente e irrimediabilmente iniziata con la pubblicazione di un testo comico criptato sull’edizione di Milano del Corriere della Sera, a firma dello studioso di economia politica Geminello Alvi. Per il vostro bene ne riporto una sintesi: allenatevi da subito a comprendere il nuovo corso dell’umorismo. Se non vi fa ridere smettetela di pensare in modalità “no global”, attaccati alle provinciali tradizioni terrestri, e spaziate oltre i confini della vostra mente: sappiate che nei dintorni della costellazione di Betelgeuse per i testi comici di Alvi si sganasciano dalle risate. Dalla rubrica “Diario d’autore”, “lettera semiseria dalla metropoli da Boris Petrovic, poeta post-sovietico a Milano, ai suoi nel Caucaso”: “Caro Dimitri, qui a Milano sono tutti contenti delle mie lettere, ed Alvi mi ci dà la percentuale. Allora ho comprato a Marina un ombrellone con aria condizionata, così sulla Paullese la notte lavora meglio. Poi me ne sono andato subito vicino a Bergamo, per licenziarmi da cameriere, anche se al ritorno mi hanno sparato. Ma non mi hanno preso, perché alla stazione un rottweiler ha cominciato ad abbaiare e perciò lo hanno fatto prigioniero. Però lui seguitava a guardarmi e io ho pianto. Sono cascato in terra in mezzo a un pacco di vecchi giornali, e lì c’era la notizia che Totti non vuole più il suo sommergibile e lo ha mandato a Cremona”. Non posso competere: vogliate con la presente accettare le mie immediate dimissioni.

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